We’ve arrived back home in Sydney after a long absence. We were away for eight months and we both started to miss home in a steady, ongoing kind of way.
Before we came back, we dreamed together about how our new start at home was going to look. And when we arrived, we made lists of everything we wanted to do and to be. We both wrote things in Evernote and I also wrote some dreams by hand, with a black felt-tipped pen in my pink leather notebook. You own things better by hand.
It’s been four months since we hello-ed leafy highways, single-storeyed fibro cottages, beaches and buffalo grass. At first everything was familiar but fresh; full of possibility. Now I feel we’re edging closer to how we lived before we said goodbye, back before we left. It’s so easy to settle into old ways and habits so that’s why I’m especially glad we dreamed up plans and wrote lists. Written down, thoughts are sifted and sorted; established. Written down, they hold strength and make important, invisible things (like knowing who you were made to be) more concrete.
Last week, I was anxious like I hadn’t been for a long time, about my purpose in life. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to make the choices I wanted to, about family and work and pleasure. For me, these worries come when I make comparisons between myself and other people. I feel anxious when I let the things other people are doing or saying be the measure of my own sense of purpose.
So I found the pink notebook again and reread my lists. Realignment came shortly after – realignment to the real measure of my purpose: my dreams and goals and passions for life.
No Comments